Marriage and Love

Love

Have you ever wondered about that word?

Pretty much we’ve all heard the I Corinthians 13 passage on love.

--1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Or as the Message puts it:

--1 Corinthians 13
The Way of Love
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

I have always believed that at times a non-action is actually an action. Look at the beginning of verse 8, “Love never fails…” Promising to keep on keeping on, to work through anything is an action. We have been duped in today’s society that love is merely a feeling, an attraction that will overcome any of life’s difficulties. The problem with that is when we don’t feel like we love the other person (which will happen), we cut and run. We aren’t taught to stay and show the true actions of love. I know that there are days when I just don’t want to do certain things. Like playing golf. There are certain days that I just don’t want to go out and play hide-and-seek with a little white ball. So does that mean that I never want to play golf again? Nope, I will want to play in a day or two. I can remember being in school and running after basketball practice. We would run suicides until it seemed like my legs were going to fall off. I can remember as I would cross that finish line thinking one more of these and I’m going to have to kill someone. But, when we were done with our running, I would always walk over and get a basketball and shoot free-throws. Making my game better was always paramount in my life. It is the same with marriage.

When we hit those areas in our marriage where we feel like our wheels are about to fall off and we start thinking, “one more of these stupid little arguments and I’m gonna leave.” That is where we have to stop, take our spouse and head to a hotel or bed-room and lock the door and don’t come out until both parties have decided to make it work. And yes, it will take both parties. But, remember it will be hard, it will be a decision that both will have to make, and it will require the action of love.